Omoide ni Dekinai
by Princesa7
Summary: She could already see his face as he rolled his eyes at her, calling her weak and emotional, but it only made her miss him more. Neither of them could leave the other behind, but what would it do to Ichigo and Orihime's budding relationship?
1. Chapter 1

**Hime:**Sorry if this is random and you want me to get my butt working on the next chapter of Pretty Girl; I am, I've written up half of it already so don't worry. I've just had a rough night and am kinda depressed, so I'm venting with this oneshot. (frowns and slinks away again) Lyrics are Rascal Flatts' "What Hurts The Most." Skipped like one chorus,'cause I didn't want this all lyrics and no story, so yeah.

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"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me."

Sometimes, like tonight, Orihime still looked up at the moon and thought about him.

The crescent moon reminded her of him a lot, of Grimmjow. She wasn't sure why. She didn't even know why she still thought about him. Here, she had been rescued from Hueco Mundo just as she'd wished since the moment she was captured. Her friends had gotten hurt but…at least she was home, with people she loved who would take care of her. Now and then though, a pair of blue eyes would haunt her vision, and the tears would overflow whether she wanted them to or not.

He'd been kind. He'd kept the other Espada from taking advantage of her, and even though he was brash and mean at times, she knew he held himself back for her sake. Orihime's heart broke every time she followed this familiar train of thought. She'd gone so far as to say that she loved him, and the night she accepted that fact, just before the final battle, before she was rescued, she cried. She hadn't wept for Ichigo, or Rukia, or Tatsuki, or anyone else either fighting or missing her. She cried because she _knew_, just knew in her heart that she would never see him again.

"What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do."

Didn't she love Ichigo? That question pulled at her heartstrings. Of course she did, Ichigo was her first love, and that would never change…

Orihime rolled over in bed, sniffling and biting back the tears as she gazed at her orange-haired love beside her, fast asleep. She'd been so happy when he'd taken her in his arms afterwards and told her everything; all of his guilt and worry and absolute love. He honestly thought she'd hate him, simply because he was too weak to have kept her safe at home. He was her knight; the memory brought a small smile to her lips.

And either way, if she hadn't gone, she'd have never met the wonder that was Grimmjow. A supposed beast of a man who only knew battle…what a lie _that_ was. He'd proved that by protecting and giving her comfort in a hellish place, and gods if she didn't fall in love with him for it.

She got out of bed silently so as not to wake Ichigo, and crept down the hall to the front door of her apartment. It was now the middle of spring and pretty warm, so her peach colored nightgown felt wonderfully cool in the night air. Hime wiped the already forming tear tracks on her cheeks away, standing in the moonlight. All she could feel was the grass tickling her toes and the light breeze on her cheeks, making them feel cold when it hit their wetness. It was so silly, but she just wanted to stand there in that light, and think about him and cry. About his rough voice, his blue hair, even that crazy grin that really always made her giggle when she saw it. How he'd sit with her in her cell and listen to her go on about her friends and things she liked to do for fun; how he'd gone so far as to hold her on one memorable night when the pain of everything just got too much. Maybe if she'd told him that night about how much it meant to her, she wouldn't be without him now.

Orihime sat down, curling her knees to her chest, staring at the moon and weeping silently. When the sun came up, Ichigo would come out and find her there, and she'd smile and give him all the love she had for him, but for now…

Orihime smiled tearfully, giving a laugh that sounded more like a sob. "Gosh, you'd think I'm being so foolish right now, if you could see me. I'm sorry, I'm trying not to cry…" She could already see his face as he rolled his eyes at her, calling her weak and emotional, but it only made her miss him more. So she took a few deep breaths and rested her chin on her crossed arms, closing her eyes and listening to the wind. If she tried hard enough, she could hear his laughter on it.

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**Hime:**I don't feel much better. (sniffs)


	2. Chapter 2

**Hime:** You know, I really didn't expect this to get too many good remarks. XD; Truly, it was only going to stay a one-shot, but I guess I can't leave it that way now…ok! (srs bsns time pose) I'll do my best! X3 Of course Grimmjow isn't dead; how can I kill _him_ off? (chibi tears) Trying again with some random lyrics, this time "I Miss You" by Avril Lavigne, 'cause it's the only one I could think of. D8

And, this whole story is making me cry.

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"I miss you.

Miss you so bad.

I don't forget you.

Oh it's so sad."

Grimmjow really wished it would rain.

The ex-Espada sighed heavily, hunching his jacket tighter around his shoulders as he leaned against a tree, in the human world of all places. The night was beautiful, and if it weren't for his dour mood, he might be enjoying himself. But he just wanted it to rain; if it were, he wouldn't feel so exposed. He shielded his eyes with one hand and gritted his teeth. There was no way, just _no way_, he could cry. What the fuck was the matter with him? Only the weak cried, and he was by no means weak, at least he tried to tell himself that. He must be, if his eyes were burning as they were.

Taking a sharp breath of air, Grimmjow glared up at the moon peeking through the treetops. It was _her_ fault.

"I hope you can hear me.

I remember it clearly.

The day, you slipped away.

Was the day, I found it won't be the same, oh."

---(Flashback)---

There were gashes and bruises all over his body after that fight with Aizen; Why he ever decided to join the shinigami side he didn't know, but he didn't question it in the heat of battle. He just did what his gut told him to, and as he glanced away from the barrage of attacks from all sides to see _her_ there, watching him with wide eyes, he knew he was doing the right thing. Maybe it had been a bad idea, he'd mused, as he lay in a pool of his own blood and felt the life draining out of him.

Then_she_ was there again, though he only saw her for a moment before that white-gold shield of hers blinded him, and made everything blessedly numb. He probably looked so pitiful laying there, what must have been for hours but most likely only minutes, and when it was over she'd gone to someone else. She'd healed him first?

"Grimmjow…?"

He looked up from his clenched fist, right into her worried eyes. She was gazing at him almost tearfully, which didn't make any sense. Though, she was probably scared of him. Of course she was.

"Grimmjow, thank you." Orihime smiled at him, an honest one, and all he could do was stare at her. When had he ever been thanked? Let alone done anything to deserve a smile like that. He didn't think he'd ever forget it.

"Inoue!" Both their heads snapped around at the call, and Grimmjow could only bite his tongue as she ran over to that damned shinigami. He wrenched himself up from the ground as they embraced, pretending he didn't hear a word they said as he slunk away silently. It was nothing but a thank you, nothing more.

---(End flashback)---

Of course he was never one to just give up things. Was that why he was here now? What right did she have, to torture him like this; she might as well be a voice in his head. And he couldn't stop staring at the moon, couldn't stop missing her, even that stupid giggle and how she could talk for days. Maybe it was lust, maybe…bleh, it might even be _love_. He wasn't really in the mood to give his conscience a beating, so he just let the feeling overtake him, and let his weakness leak out silently under the stars.

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**Hime:**Thar, Grimmy's part. It's even shorter than the first chapter! (tears) I'll make longer more involved chapters later tonight, I just have some other things I need to get done, like the next chapter of Pretty Girl typed up for one thing. XD


	3. Chapter 3

**Hime:**Yatta! I'm so relieved; I was looking all over for where I'd put this chapter and thought I lost it! D8 (finally breathes and types it up) 

Oh! And I changed the title of the fic to the title of the song I'm using in this chapter, "Omoide ni Dekinai," by Younha, because I heard the song and it was so beautiful and perfect, I wanted to use it! (smiles) These are the English lyrics to, obvsauce. XD

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Orihime was enjoying the afternoon with Ichigo; no depressing thoughts or haunting memories plagued her. All there was, was Ichigo and his smile and his warm hand in hers. It was only a lunch date, but it banished the darker side of her mind for a while and she was grateful. Ichigo was like the a beacon to guide her out of the tumultuous waters of her own heart.

"**You're going away next Spring.  
I can't find the words to say goodbye.  
So I stopped my bike.  
And trembled in the wind blowing from across the sea."**

They were seated outside her favorite café; it was warm, she was hungry, and even though she'd only fallen asleep at sunrise she felt well-rested. 

Ichigo smiled at her from across the table. He'd been worried about her lately, especially after last night. Finding your girlfriend asleep in the yard wasn't a typical thing, even with an untypical girl like Orihime. He watched her sip her blueberry smoothie, pondering. How could anyone _not_ see how distant she seemed; it wasn't like she was isolating herself or spending any less time with him, but there was this look in her eyes that spoke of something else going on in her head that she wasn't telling. Not to mention that sometimes, she just looked unutterably _sad_. He frowned.

"Hime?"

Brown eyes blinked up at him; Orihime smiled around her straw. "Hai?"

"Are you okay? You seem really…down lately."

"**I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the waves alone.  
And quietly, quietly whispered the words I couldn't say, that I love you."**

Orihime took the straw from her mouth, blinking at him curiously. That was mostly a front; she was nervous. Had he really noticed? She was about to make up some excuse like lack of sleep because of schoolwork or some other stressor, when she saw _him._ The napkin in her hand was snatched away by the breeze as she stared past Ichigo's left shoulder, heart thudding. There was no way.

He was loitering there, like he was supposed to be there, supposed to be anywhere near her. His face was indifferent as he leant back against the glittering water fountain in the courtyard, eyes trained straight ahead into the crowd of people passing by. No one paid him any mind, which was good considering that hole in his stomach and the mask on his face. But those two things only confirmed her…fear? She didn't know if she was afraid or not. She did know though, that he was _here_, in her world, and shattering it weather he knew it or not.

"**In the season when the cherry blossoms fall.  
During the fireworks that summer.  
I was always thinking about you, about you.  
The painful autumn, the Christmas Eve I spent alone.  
It'll all become a distant memory someday, someday.  
But I can't make you a memory."**

"Ichigo…"

The shinigami tilted his head at her, growing more worried by the minute at her panicked expression. "Hime, what's wrong?" He took her hand that was hovering above the table and squeezed it.

Orihime had to be dreaming; it was a pleasant fantasy that had just shifted into a nightmare. She gave Ichigo a returning squeeze to try and snap herself out of it, but it quickly became apparent that this was all very real.

'_Grimmjow Jaegerjaques…'_

It was like he heard her thoughts; that head of electric blue hair snapped in her direction, and they both froze.

'_Finally…'_he thought, suppressing a grin. It was hard to do, since he felt such an odd mix of elation and uncertainty. She was there with that damn Kurosaki, as he should have expected. As if she'd be around all alone just waiting for him…yeah, like she probably ever even thought about him until just now. Right now, he would bet on his life all she wanted to do was run away. But he couldn't let her, not yet, not until he understood why the sight of her there in her bright yellow sundress, hair done up in two long braids down her back and looking _right at him_ with those eyes enraptured him so much. It was just one of those things that pissed him off, and intrigued him. 

Ichigo followed Orihime's eyes, turning around in his chair.

"**You looked up at the sky as you said,  
You wanted to see the other side of the sea.  
How long have I been in love with those eyes,  
Telling myself it was just one-sided?"**

He pushed out of his chair in a flash, the metal legs grating against the concrete and snapping Orihime from eye contact with Grimmjow. He reached into his pocket and gripped the Shinigami badge, ready for a fight. There wasn't any way in _hell_ Grimmjow would get away with coming here; he was only just spared death from Soul Society because he'd fought on their side, and that was it. And Ichigo sure as hell didn't want him anywhere near Orihime.

"Orihime, go and wait for me at the park or something, it's not safe---" His words were cut short as a curtain of red hair blew past him, right towards Grimmjow…

…and past him as well. Grimmjow looked just as surprised as they both watched her run, a few onlookers glancing in Ichigo's direction.

'_How embarrassing," _Ichigo thought, hand clenching and unclenching around the badge. He calmed himself, walking after where Orihime had vanished, never taking his eyes of the stunned Arrancar. Something wasn't right; he expected Grimmjow to be blowing shit up and _demanding_ a battle, as used to be his habit, but he only stood there and looked…lost. Ichigo had no idea what to say to that, but as he walked past him he whispered, "You follow me, and don't do anything you'll regret."

---

"**You laughed, saying you weren't afraid of anything.  
Someday you back will be too far away to see.  
Even if you fly across the sea, I'm sure I won't forget you."**

There was a river than ran a little ways behind Orihime's house; she liked to go there to relax and get away from it all, but this problem was like a suffocating cloud that followed her even here.

"Just like you followed me…" she whispered, a sob coming after that as she sat down on the grass with her head on her knees. It wasn't enough to be so consumed with the man in thought, he had to show up in her physical reality as well. His face might even have faded from her mind with time, but now it was burned anew into her heart. She stared, sniffling, into the water rushing by, at her own pitiful expression. What really scared her, was it was burned right next to Ichigo's image, who she used to think once upon a time no one could ever compete with. She'd accepted long ago that she had fallen in love with Grimmjow, but so much that just one look at him shook her up so horribly? 

Orihime sighed as the shock began to wear off and her racing thoughts came down to Earth. She fell backwards with a soft thump, tears drying on her cheeks that she was too tired to wipe away as she watched the clouds go by overhead. She should have expected that though, considering what just the thought of him did to her. But she never expected him to come here, to ever see him again…she loved Ichigo so much, she was certain, but Grimmjow…was it possible to fall in love with more than one? Perhaps, but it couldn't be right. And even if it was, Ichigo and Grimmjow hated each other. If it weren't for the lack of active energies around her, she'd assume they were fighting. It puzzled and relieved her that they weren't.

"**We'll surely spread our wings and take to our respective skies.  
And fly far and high, leaving now behind.  
What will remain surely won't be regrets.  
But the seeds of smiles that youth plants.  
Yeah, I can't make my first love a memory."**

Shoes crunching on gravel, then softer on the grass made her shut her eyes tight. It was either Ichigo come to check on her, or Grimmjow to…do whatever it was he was planning on, neither of which she could handle just now. 

"Orihime."

That was Ichigo's voice, and it's softness compelled her to look up. And there they were, though Grimmjow stood a little farther behind; his gaze was on her however, intense as always and full of something she didn't recognize in him. Whatever it was, it made her wipe her eyes and stand on unsteady legs, looking away at the river instead of at them.

Ichigo turned to Grimmjow, fixing him with a suspicious look. "Tell us why you're here."

The ex-Espada sneered a little at the questioning, and shrugged. "To see her; got a problem with that?" He knew he was asking for it, but didn't much care.

Orihime looked back at him at his response, surprised and nervous. Grimmjow felt an unfamiliar tug on his lips, face contorting into what could only be a smile. God she looked so innocent standing there, even though he probably looked freaky, _smiling_ and all, but he couldn't make it go away. Ichigo just blew a puff of exasperated air, scratching his head and kicking a stone down the small hill into the water. He could tell, life was about to get complicated.

"**It was by loving you that I learned love could be bitter.  
It was the first time I'd cried for someone else."**

Orihime breathed deep; she had to do something, and not just stand there. Grimmjow might leave, and that thought filled her with unusual dread. She hated his coming here, yet feared his leaving. Luckily, Grimmjow wasn't one to be kept waiting long, even immersed in something of a "tender moment" as he was. He broke away from Orihime's eye's and started walking up the street where he remembered the girl lived, seeing it all that time ago when they battled in the sky above it.

"Oi, Orihime!"

Said girl glanced at Grimmjow sharply; he'd called her by her name---

That grin of his was back again, just like she remembered it. "Hope ya don't mind, I don't have a place to stay and I'm sure as hell not stayin' with him." He gestured at Ichigo, who looked like he did the first time he saw a ghost. _Grimmjow_, staying in Orihime's house?

Grimmjow could only grin; Orihime looked helplessly at Ichigo and shrugged her shoulders. The teen rubbed his eyes; guess he had been right about the complication part.

"**In the season when the cherry blossoms fall.  
During the fireworks that summer.  
I was always thinking about you, about you.  
The painful autumn, the Christmas Eve I spent alone.  
It'll all become a distant memory someday, someday."**

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**Hime:**Tell me, did I screw up the ending, was it rushed? D8 It felt that way. (teary eyes)


End file.
